Friday the 13th

[Cobra Commander]

I'm seeing this movie today so I'll leave my impressions after I do. Do any of you guys plan on seeing it? The Friday movies are all trash so all this has to be is fun with lot's of unintentional cheese and I'll be a happy camper.

[Cobra Commander]

The "new" Friday the 13th was the same thing as every other Ft13th movie. Jason stalks everyone for awhile then kills them all. Same shit different decade. Be that as it may I had an engaging evening and found the movie to be campy (No pun intended) fun. The death scenes could have used more variety but at least they weren't cheap cutaways.There was an abundance of young teenagers who managed to get into the movie, many of which would scream out loud during the scary bits. I thought it nice to see Jason still scaring people in this day and age.If you want to have some fun or take out a date for an evening then I recommend guiving Ft13th a shot.

[forensick]

My thoughts on the new Friday movie can be summed up into one sentence that my fifth grade English teacher would hate:

This movie sucked.

Cons
- Jason. Jason is dead. Jason is supernatural. Jason is basically a badass zombie.

Jason is not Leatherface. He does not need a house, electricity, a bed, or a cat lady's obsession with collecting trinkets. The tunnel concept was ridiculous too.

- No variety in the kills. Yeah we get it, Jason has a machete and other pointy things. However, there are other means to murder people than simply sticking an object through their back so it comes out the other side.

- The characters. The second-string main girl (from the cabin) was one of the biggest throwaway characters I've ever seen. Got the main guy into the cabin? Frat boy kicks him out. Followed the main guy around? Did nothing except hide and ultimately get killed. She offered no support both to the storyline or morally.

Please don't get me started on the aforementioned frat boy. Holy fuck we're supposed to hate him, ok ok!

- How Jason found the mask. I don't even need to comment on this one. Here, let me rewrite the scene for you since you're all incompetent:

Backwoods stoner enters the darkened room to investigate strange sounds. He pulls off a sheet draped over a figure (ed. note: Sorry Bob, we're going to have to cut this "fuck a mannequin part") and we get an audience scare gag when a goalie uniform is suddenly displayed. Proceed with scene...

- The ending. I probably could have been strong-armed into giving this movie an average review but the climax completely destroyed any compassion in my heart. Wood chipper? Let's stick Jasons head into it one millimeter! That'll show him!

Again with the rewrites: They should have shoved Jason face first into the machine, which would subsequently annihilate his mask. Then we could have unmasked Jason get one more kill.

- All in all, it just didn't seem like a Friday the 13th movie. It felt like the set designers had all this shit laying around from other remake movies (Hills Have Eyes, Texas Chainsaw, House of Wax, etc.) and were like "Hey, let's just throw Jason on top of this stuff." It also had the next-gen color palette consisting of only blacks and browns.

Pros
- The comedy. I actually liked all the funny stuff. I lost my shit during the campfire lip reading part and especially the JCPenny's catalog jerk off session.

- Those spectacular boobs.

[Toxie]

Im siding with Forensick on this. Like Commander said it was the same as the other Friday the 13th movies but I could not call it good or even ok. I have some points of contention for Forensick.

- Jason. Jason is dead. Jason is supernatural. Jason is basically a badass zombie.

That was for movies 6 and up. He was alive and human in the first 4. 5 if you count the imposter as jason.

Jason is not Leatherface. He does not need a house, electricity, a bed, or a cat lady's obsession with collecting trinkets. The tunnel concept was ridiculous too.

I partially agree. he had a house in part 2 but all the trinkets and shit were dumb.


What i really agree with

The characters. The second-string main girl (from the cabin) was one of the biggest throwaway characters I've ever seen. Got the main guy into the cabin? Frat boy kicks him out. Followed the main guy around? Did nothing except hide and ultimately get killed. She offered no support both to the storyline or morally.

I think you were supposed to be surprised and shocked when she died. lol.

How Jason found the mask. I don't even need to comment on this one.

Wasnt it cool how the shack he found the mask in had a bunch of old timey shit from the 20s to 40s but then a late 70's styled hockey mask admist it all.

The ending. I probably could have been strong-armed into giving this movie an average review but the climax completely destroyed any compassion in my heart. Wood chipper? Let's stick Jasons head into it one millimeter! That'll show him!

wood chipper was a cock tease. Plain and simple. Didnt you also like how Jason refastened his mask before popping out of the water. the fuck does he even wear it for anyway.


My favorite part, the ominous old lady who claims Jason just wants to be left alone. Yet it is Jason who is seeking out everyone and killing them when they wouldnt have bothered him in the first place. How long did the jocks dad live at that house before Jason finally realized it was there? Same for the perverted hick.